The plans i'd made

[esmio06]

Years fly by
Little did I think that I would be 49 already. Just a few minutes ago I was in my twenties, living in my car and trying to figure out who I wanted to be. Now, I'm almost 49 years old. That blows my mind.
The number of different people I have been so far in this life amazes me. Each of them had plans and drains that seen so unrelated. Well some of them have had common ground. I have been through several iterations of David since finally landing in a career. Even while those stated focused in one area, work, they diverged in almost every other.
One thread I can think of that has remained constant is my desire to help others. I have never forgotten where I have been and am fortunate to see my struggles in others.
Through these brief lifetimes, over the lady 49 years, I have had so many I wanted to say to so many people. But those words went unspoken. Usually it was fear that kept me from speaking. I think this iteration of David has done better with facing that fear.
This thought was triggered by a line of a perm, I will one day write, that kept running through my head, " oh, the plans that I made for the words that I saved."
I haven't written anything,  except work stuff and political diatribes, in so long that I don't even know if words will flow any more.
I need a good pen, a notebook and a noisy bar. Maybe this weekend :)
I sure have the pain welling in me. The asset needs to come out somehow. Painting isn't a release right now; so, maybe back to some rambling.