debate/discussion
May. 5th, 2008 10:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
esmio06I have heard 3 o 4 people lately say that they believe that true love is simply wanting to see the other person happy. This got me thinking and I would like some opinions on this statement.
Before reading this, no this does not have to do with my feelings for my ex or her situation. this is a self evaluation of what I want out of life in the future.
here is mine so far (this is flud and still evolving).
Happiness is or can be fleeting adn things that make us happy at the moment may not be what makes us happy in the long run. I think that I believe, so far, that love is sometimes being willing to se the or even make the person you love temporarily unhappy. Think of a father spanking their child or letting the child touch the hot stove. That is parental love but i beleive the same can be true in relationship love. Where you know the person well enough to know that the temprary happiness your lover will gain from what they are about to do will make them more miserable in the long run. That doesnt mean that you lay down the law and stop them, but you do, if you love them, express your concern.
Letting somebody do whatever they ant may appear to be love, but not sharing your concerns, to me, seems cowardly, not loving. That sounds harsh I know, and i dont mean it harsh.
The context i have heard this in lately from several people is "I would rather see them (their lover) happy with somebody else, than unhappy, or even content with me."
This is where the quote at the bottom of this page comes into play to me. Love is not just a feeling. As things get rough and you go through "sinking ship" syndrome together, love builds; as you go through great times, love builds; as you go through boring times, love builds. It is all of this journey that makes for love, IMHO, not just a season, a feeling or a goose bump.
So after thinking about these statements, I respectfully disagree with people who think that if you really love somebody you want them to be happy with somebody else, unless that happiness is what I described above.
As promised, here is the quote that describes love bettter than anythign i have ever read ebfroe except maybe 1 Corinthians 13
From Captain Corelli's Mandolin:
Iannis:
"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!
Before reading this, no this does not have to do with my feelings for my ex or her situation. this is a self evaluation of what I want out of life in the future.
here is mine so far (this is flud and still evolving).
Happiness is or can be fleeting adn things that make us happy at the moment may not be what makes us happy in the long run. I think that I believe, so far, that love is sometimes being willing to se the or even make the person you love temporarily unhappy. Think of a father spanking their child or letting the child touch the hot stove. That is parental love but i beleive the same can be true in relationship love. Where you know the person well enough to know that the temprary happiness your lover will gain from what they are about to do will make them more miserable in the long run. That doesnt mean that you lay down the law and stop them, but you do, if you love them, express your concern.
Letting somebody do whatever they ant may appear to be love, but not sharing your concerns, to me, seems cowardly, not loving. That sounds harsh I know, and i dont mean it harsh.
The context i have heard this in lately from several people is "I would rather see them (their lover) happy with somebody else, than unhappy, or even content with me."
This is where the quote at the bottom of this page comes into play to me. Love is not just a feeling. As things get rough and you go through "sinking ship" syndrome together, love builds; as you go through great times, love builds; as you go through boring times, love builds. It is all of this journey that makes for love, IMHO, not just a season, a feeling or a goose bump.
So after thinking about these statements, I respectfully disagree with people who think that if you really love somebody you want them to be happy with somebody else, unless that happiness is what I described above.
As promised, here is the quote that describes love bettter than anythign i have ever read ebfroe except maybe 1 Corinthians 13
From Captain Corelli's Mandolin:
Iannis:
"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!
